I’m building a newish website here with much brow-clenching and uttering of oaths. It’s so outside my wheelhouse that I have to keep checking if I’m really me or if I’ve recently died and been uploaded into the Web.

Or something….

Anyhoo. Should you drop in on Home or About in the site’s menu hamburger thingy* then don’t be alarmed by the chaos. Words lying around in disorderly heaps. Images akimbo. Dust sheets everywhere and a tinny radio emitting a hoarse reading of the Shipping Forecast.

Do not panic. Order will be restored. Bear with…

*technical term for those three parallel lines arranged on menu bar of a website. Or at least I think that’s where they are. Oh, hang on. Oh FFS. Where the hell is the menu hamburgery thingy? Why is this so hard?